Dear Redhead

i want your life.

your hair. your clothes. your body. your home. your holidays.
just not your rabbit.

you are beautiful

Jealously,
me

Dear Scale

get smaller dammit!!!
i'm pretty sure my pants size went down, but the scale needs to as well. I know i know, its not all about the numbers. but it sure is a motivator.
Its embarrassing to go to the doctor and see that number. I'm short, I should at least be fifty pounds lighter.

whatthefuckever

agitated,
me

Dear House

please. Please. PLEASE. start packing yourself today. i'm moving in ten days. but i have to have this shit out in eight.
you've been a decent house. you work most of the time. i hate your squeaky floors though. you'd be real nice house if your owners took care of you.
if i owned you i'd take care of you.

procrastinating,
me

Dear Humanities Class

I don't want to be here visiting you today. I have many more things I could be doing with my time. But instead, I chose to attend. Please be nice to me. Please keep me entertained.

Sorry I don't like you. Its just that you're so boring. Nothing about you entertains me. Judging by the class size no one else likes you either. Maybe you should step up your game.

Bored,

me.

Dear Macro Exam

Today, I must take you. Today, I must not fail you. Today, I must start studying for you. Please don't let me down. I need to pass this exam. Please be nice to me. Please let me understand your words. Please don't be a little trickster I know you can be.

Begging,
me.

Dear Young Woman with the Baby

What the hell are you thinking? You really think that moving in with your baby-daddy, whom you've broken up with several times, is a good idea? Do you realize how good you have it? Sure, it sucks living with your parents, but for the gods' sakes. I knew you were pretty dumb, but I didn't know you were this dumb.
What happens when you decide you hate him again? What happens when he starts controlling you again? Why do you think this time will be any different? I honestly feel sorry for your baby. He's a cute kid, just has dumb-shit parents.

Not feeling sorry for you anymore,
me.