Dear Scale

get smaller dammit!!!
i'm pretty sure my pants size went down, but the scale needs to as well. I know i know, its not all about the numbers. but it sure is a motivator.
Its embarrassing to go to the doctor and see that number. I'm short, I should at least be fifty pounds lighter.

whatthefuckever

agitated,
me

Dear House

please. Please. PLEASE. start packing yourself today. i'm moving in ten days. but i have to have this shit out in eight.
you've been a decent house. you work most of the time. i hate your squeaky floors though. you'd be real nice house if your owners took care of you.
if i owned you i'd take care of you.

procrastinating,
me